why do we hesitate when crossing a threshold?


· The place or point of beginning; the outset.

· The point that must be exceeded to begin producing a given effect or result or to elicit a response

My cat has this funny habit of jumping over the threshold between rooms. Sometimes there is a demarcation (a saddle as I have now learned it is called) but many times it’s just the passing from one room to the next that somehow makes him uncomfortable enough to want to get through it as soon as possible. It makes me laugh every time I witness this. This morning when he left my bedroom and walked into the living room, it dawned on me that us humans are very similar. We just want to get to the other side of the threshold without committing to the starting point and actually doing the work to get through it.

We see something that we want or we desire to be a certain way. We know it’s just over there. We have to learn new skills, infuse some new habits or drop some limiting beliefs. There is the decision to make a change, the discomfort of the unknown and of course, the possibility that we may fail. These are all the reasons why we don’t cross that threshold or like my sweet kitty, decide to just jump across it and be there already.

To matters worse, our brains are wired to resist change. There is a primitive mechanism in the brain that registers any time we attempt to make a change in routine, habits or even thought patterns. Its part of a survival mechanism keeping us on alert and asking us “do you really want to go off course now”? We question our actions and many times fall back on our old ways. We are designed to keep with the familiar and the known.

Here’s the deal. There is no such thing as failure as its all part of the process and that is what most people miss. They have their eyes fixated on the prize at the end (over the threshold) that they completely miss the point. It’s the process and the journey with all the detours and roadblocks that really only count. Once we are “there” many times we ask…is that it? Life does not exist as the goal achieved or end result. The act of really living life is the present awareness through the process of crossing that threshold one step at a time and enjoying the steps along the way. I can almost guarantee you that if you are not enjoying the actions that you are taking to get where you want to go, then you will not be happy when you get there.

Here’s why. The only reason why we want to achieve something is that we think having that thing (or accomplishment) is going to make us happy. When we ask ourselves why we want something, it’s always the feeling that we are really after. The whole objective in life (as I see it) is to enjoy the moments along the road of what we are going after. Part of my coaching process is to have my clients create a very clear picture about what they desire and then have them imagine how they are going to celebrate when they’ve achieved it. Yes, start looking at hotels in the St. Barth! We make it as real as can be. Then we start looking at the things they will do and actions they will take to make that happen, always checking in to make sure we are not holding any resistance. If something does not feel right, fun or challenging (in the good way!), DON’T DO IT. Doing anything that you are going to complain about, procrastinate about or feel icky doing will stand in the way of your success. If you are feeling good about the process along way, you will get the outcome you desire.

Since I always approach things from an energetic perspective and through an awareness of the vibration you are flowing, the beginning step (or actually stepping over the threshold instead of jumping – metaphorically to just be there) begins when you make a decision to actually be that now. In essence, you are incorporating all the characteristics of that destination place now into your life.

Acting as if.

The power in this is after a while you will convince yourself that you already possess those characteristics, believe that this is who you are and that is when the magic happens. Things come to you with ease and joy; you give up the struggle and discover you already are what you were seeking. Crossing the threshold came be a most exciting adventure once you align yourself with enjoying the journey to get there.

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